What's getting in the way?

Alright. Time for a tough talk with myself. I'm really getting frustrated with myself, and I feel strange that I can't figure out what the issue is. It always is difficult for me when I hear people complain about something and then do nothing to address it. Hate the government? Write a letter to your congressperson. Frustrated with how your partner is treating you? Let him/her know what's up. Tired of being broke? Budget time. In general, I feel comfortable tackling my problems and asserting myself when necessary. But for some reason, I'm really having trouble keeping my resolutions to be active.

When any of my clients really seem stuck in a pattern of behavior that's bad for them (I should say "maladaptive." "Bad" isn't a good therapy word), I turn to the "language of constraints." It's one of the first thing that they teach therapists-in-training in my program, and it's been one of the most valuable, simple tools that I've ever learned.

Basically, the idea is that people want to do what's good for them, and that if they're stuck in a maladaptive behavior, it's because they're not sure what else to do. For example, a mom yells at her kids because she never learned how to do anything else or doesn't have the emotional stability to act differently. It doesn't excuse or justify the behavior, but it helps explain it, and many of my clients feel good about it because it's very de-blaming.

So, instead of saying "Why did you lie?", you ask a client, "What kept you from telling the truth?" Instead of implying that they're bad or that they did something wrong, you metaphorically sit beside them and look together at the constraints, or whatever's getting in the way of acting better.

So, I really need to sit with myself and figure out what's getting in the way of me making a change. For the most part, I'm really happy with how my body looks, but my upper arms can reduce me to tears. Today, I was waving hello to a friend when I caught the extra fat on my upper arm shimmying and jiggling. I dropped my arms down instantly and squished them against my sides. That only made them look larger, so I stood awkwardly with my arms slightly away from my body. I felt like an idiot, and it wasn't very pleasant.

I'm clearly not happy with how my arms look, and I know that changing them is within my power. Do 40 minutes of cardio 4 times a week and do 30 minutes of weights on the off days from cardio, and my arms will become (at least slightly) more toned within three months. My wedding is four months away, and I don't have much more time to put it off.

So what's getting in the way? I have absolutely no idea. I don't want to become one of those complainers who don't act, but I worry I'm sliding into that category. Boo.

Excellent arm workout

Overall, I feel pretty comfortable in my own skin. I eat well, and I'm somewhat active (although I'm working on changing the "somewhat" to "moderately!"). However, I'm doomed by my family curse. Yep, we actually have one of those.

When I was at a family reunion over the summer with my dad's side of the family, I was looking at a Martha Stewart Weddings magazine with one of my aunts. We were flipping through the dresses (most of which are strapless. Thanks, wedding industry!), she commented,

"You know, I'm so happy I didn't get married. I never would've been able to wear these dresses. You know, all the Anderson family women are cursed with carrying their weight in their upper arms."

Our eyes met, and she quickly backpedaled and told me how lovely my own arms were. I laughed, since I know it's true. We really do carry our weight there. Everyone has a trouble spot!

To try to trim down before I wear my sleeveless wedding dress this September (not to mention swimsuit season this summer!), I'm trying to do a combo of cardio and weight training. Although I wish it weren't the case, it's not really possible to spot-reduce fat in one area. Cardio should reduce my body fat overall, and weight training should define those muscles. From what I've heard, it's pretty easy to tone arms, even if it's tougher to reduce arm fat.

Vitamin G at Body by Glamour just posted a great 10-minute workout. I'm still going to keep up my long jogs three days a week, but this is great for Monday nights when I get home at 8 after a long day of clients and just want to collapse.

Man, I fail at writing! But here's the good news...

My ridiculous blogging lapse is really a perfect reflection of my problems with motivation. I'll get on a kick (dieting, exercise, etc.) for a week or two, then it fades. It's usually not an intentional decision to stop whatever I've been doing, but it tends to slip my mind. Once I realize I haven't been doing it for a while, I get frustrated with myself and give up. Not exactly the best idea!

I was thinking today about the advice that I give my clients when they're having a tough time. As a marital and family therapist grad student, it's important to be the voice of hope and motivation for my clients, even when times seem bleak. I realized today that I tend to spend so much more energy believing in them and coaching them on that I spend on myself. Even though I have an overall positive self-image, I don't consciously build myself up. I tend to see myself as somebody who doesn't really need help or coaching. I've been a bit of an overachiever for most of my life, so it's strange to me that I need to specifically and intentionally coach myself to treat my body well.

So, I'm not just going to stop. I've been feeling good about my body recently, and I know that it's completely connected to having gone running/jogging/walking four times over the past week. Yep, you heard that right... I've actually enjoyed going for a jog!

I need to preface all that by sying that I'm about the last person anyone would expect to take up running. I've always wanted to (I mean, it's free, you can do it anywhere, and it's amazing for your body), but I'd get discouraged when I'd go out for that first awful run. I'd quit after less than a mile, my cheeks bright red, my throat burning, and my side aching. All it seemed to do was remind me how out of shape I was.

It's still hard to figure out what was different last time. Even though I haven't been working out regularly, I've gone once every two weeks or so since January. I'm guessing it made a small (very, very small) difference in my stamina, but I guess it was enough to let me go a little farther down the sidewalk. It was enough to keep me going.

Last Wednesday, I just went out for 20 minutes. I got home from class at 6:30, Top Model started, at seven, but I read a thread on the Knot about a Knottie who'd gone running and felt really good about herself. I figured, why not?

The next day, it was 80 degrees, sunny, and breezy. I decided to go for a walk on the shore of Lake Michigan. My walk turned into a brisk walk, then into a jog. I found myself home after a 5-mile journey, and I felt amazing. Even though I walked most of the way, I was shocked how much easier it was to jog a little further. Since then, it's continued.

I know I haven't been a good candidate for exercise, since I can be really impatient. I'll do 20 crunches and expect to see a 6-pack in the mirror, which simply isn't realistic. Even though I have felt my body change in subtle ways over the past week, this running thing is amazing, since I've felt real, powerful changes in my body after just a few runs. Last night, I walked/jogged 10 miles with a friend. It felt like nothing I've known before.

So. Here I go, I hope!

Dinner Tonight: Healthy, Creamy Spinach Artichoke Dip!

Yep... That's right. Healthy, creamy, cheesy, gooey, yummy, and good for you! I've adapted the classic calorie-laden, fat-packing recipe and transformed it into something lovely. I love it with baby carrots, celery stick, jicama, and some homemade high-fiber wrap chips.

Sarah's Spinach Artichoke Dip

Ingredients
4 cloves garlic
1 (10 oz) package light alfredo sauce
1 oz package fat-free cream cheese
3/4 cup 2% mozzarella cheese
1/3 cup shredded parmesan/asiago cheese mix (just parmesan is fine)
10 oz frozen spinach, thawed and drained
14 oz (1 can) artichoke hearts, chopped
1 pound silken tofu

Directions
1. Preheat over to 350 degrees. Place garlic cloves (in skins) in medium baking dish. Bake for 20 minutes or until soft.
2. Remove cloves, cool, then squeeze out of skins. Chop finely, and return to baking dish.
3. Mix alfredo sauce, mozzarella cheese, parmesan/asiago cheee, spinach, tofu, and artichoke hearts. Combine well.
4. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes, until melted and golden brown on top.
5. Serve with lots of veggies, and enjoy!

Nutrition Information
12 servings (as snack): 107 calories, 4g fat, 8g carbs, 1g fiber, 8.5g protein
4 servings (as meal): 321 calories, 12.5g fat, 23g carbs, 2.5g fiber, 25g protein

Mmmmm :)

Motivation Fail... and Return!

This week, I've really had a tough time getting myself to exercise. Another poster on The Knot mentioned how it takes the human mind 4-6 weeks to adopt a new habit, so I know that it will become easier over time. But those first few weeks are killer!

When in doubt, I tend to turn to fitness blogs for inspiration and advice. One of my favorites is a blog entry that Jillian Michaels (yes, that Jillian, of Biggest Loser and Shred fame) wrote for Glamour. I'll paste it below.

"We all have at least a few fleeting moments of inspiration where we want to improve our lives and during which we feel capable of positive change. Motivation is easy at the beginning of any new job, task, or fitness program like Body by Glamour. (In this case it's about health, but wanting a leaner body and better health through diet and exercise is really a metaphor for wanting a better life.) But sustaining it is another matter. Here's the trick.

I truly believe that the only true and lasting source of motivation must come from within you. Outside stimulus can't provide you with reason enough to continue healthy habits for a lifetime. I mean, sure, you might see a picture of Madonna's rock-hard 50-year-old body and feel inspired to hit the gym that day--which is great. But what about the day after that, and the year after that? To begin finding your true inner, lasting motivation to get healthy, grab some paper or a journal and a pen and answer these questions:

1. What do I want to change? Be specific.

2. Why do I want to change it?

3. What will the benefits of making this change be to my body and to my life?

4. What am I willing to sacrifice to make this change happen?

Your answers might be as profound as living long enough to see your grandchildren graduate from college, or as frivolous as rocking a bikini on your summer vacation. It doesn't matter how deep or how seemingly shallow your answers might be--they're yours and as long as it's important to you that's all that matters!

Now, the next time you are about to throw in the towel, I want you to go back and look at this journal entry of yours. Remind yourself of what it is you are fighting for and put things in perspective. I don't love working out and I hate broccoli, but I tolerate them because I know the ultimate goal is worth it. What's worth it to you?"

Full link to article here!

Recipe of the Day: My Mac-and-Cheese Substitute!

Disclaimer: this recipe doesn't taste exactly like macaroni and cheese. I call it a substitute because it gives me the same warm, cheesy, gooey, carb-y feeling that I seek out from my favorite comfort food.

This recipe, unlike my Kraft goodness, bursts with protein and fiber in ridiculous proportions. It takes, quite literally, two minutes of prep time, followed by 30-40 minutes of cook time. Give it a try... You might fall in love, too!

Delia's Lentils

2 14 oz cans or 1 32 oz. package of vegetable broth (I use Imagine Food's vegan No Chicken Broth)
1/2 cup brown rice
3/4 cup brown lentils (you can use other colors, but brown gives a nice consistency)
1/2 medium onion, finely chopped
1 teaspoon-ish of oregano
1 teaspoon-ish of basil
1 teaspoon garlic
1/4 teaspoon salt

Mix together into medium pot. Bring to boil, then reduce heat to medium. Stir occasionally. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove lid and simmer for an additional 15 to 30 minutes, adding more liquid if necessary. Top with shredded cheese or plain yogurt. Enjoy :)

Makes two GIANT servings or three regular servings.

Nutrition Information (for 1/2 of recipe, aka giant serving, with 1/8 cup 2% shredded cheese):
425 calories, 5g fat, 40g carbohydrates, 8g fiber, 14g protein

Spicy Healthy Crunchy... Yay!

I have to say, I'm in love with the Vitamin G fitness blog on Glamour.com. I'm using Glamour's Body By Glamour program to get diet ideas and to track my daily calorie consumption. Their fitness blog is a little something extra that's given me a bunch of great ideas.

Most recently, they had a quick post about an afternoon snack that the blogger claims has helped her drop three pounds. When I read what it was, I got all excited and ran out to buy some! As many college students can attest, chips and salsa are a staple at just about any party. Once I started grocery shopping for myself (beyond the campus mini-mart, that stocked burritos, pizza, and chips), I started buying chips and salsa for a nice afternoon snack. Sounds pretty healthy, right?

Except that one serving of chips can pack over 200 calories, and who actually eats one serving? The blogger at Vitamin G has the solution.... Veggies and salsa! Sounds obvious, but I somehow hadn't thought about it. Depending on what kind of salsa you buy, it can give you the satisfying feeling of having eaten something exotic and complex. I bought some yummy salsa and jicama to dip. Can't wait to get started!